


Teething Trouble

by dracogotgame



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Established Relationship, Featuring Harry Potter, Fluff, Humour, M/M, Oneshot, Post-Hogwarts, The world's worst vampire, vampire!Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 00:08:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11345958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracogotgame/pseuds/dracogotgame
Summary: Harry's teething troubles have just begun.





	Teething Trouble

Draco hummed a tune to himself as he shouldered his way into his flat, cradling a large pumpkin in one arm. With a sigh of relief, he set the behemoth squash down on the table and paused to catch his breath. It had taken the better part of his morning and a visit to Neville Longbottom’s Greenhouse to acquire it, but he had to admit the pumpkin was perfect.

He could finally make that pumpkin pie Harry had been whinging about all week.

Draco’s lips twitched in a fond smile. One would think that vampires wouldn’t care much for dessert, but his boyfriend continued to surprise him. Harry’s transition had done nothing to dampen his sweet tooth— or sweet fang, rather.

Draco thought it was cute and besides, he did make a killer pumpkin pie. It would certainly be worth it to see the look of delight on Harry’s face.

With that thought, he went to the kitchen to set up. Draco waved a wand casually and kept an eye as bowls, racks and ingredients flew from the cupboards and settled on the counter. Eggs, sugar, heavy cream...he nodded to himself as he mentally catalogued everything he would need to start baking. Of course, first of all, he needed a serviceable pumpkin purée for the filling.

Draco thumbed through a recipe and batted around in the cabinet for a wooden spoon— his go-to for scooping— but it wasn’t there. He frowned and craned his neck to take a look in the cupboards.

Odd.

The rubber spatula was missing too. He needed that for folding! And the scraper was gone, along with his second favourite spoon.

Where was everything?

The answer came to him almost instantly. Of course. Why was he even surprised?

Draco straightened up and affected his sternest expression. Then he marched off in search of his boyfriend.

“Harry?”

Harry jumped in alarm as Draco entered the bedroom. His hands flew behind his back and he affected an innocent expression.

“Draco!” he exclaimed. “You’re home early.”

Draco wasn’t impressed. He crossed his arms and stared his guilty boyfriend down. “Did you take my spatula?” he demanded.

“I...might have borrowed it,” Harry admitted, a touch evasively. He offered up a guileless smile, but all it did was display his sharp fangs and reinforce Draco’s suspicions.

“Harry James Potter,” Draco declared in a tone that left zero room for argument, “you have precisely two minutes to return everything you took from my kitchen, or so help me Salazar, no pumpkin pie.”

Harry dropped the act in two seconds flat. “Okay, okay,” he grumbled sulkily. “No need to make threats. Here.”

Draco sighed in exasperation as he accepted the nearly shredded spatula. It was exactly as he had feared. Harry had torn right through it with his fangs!

Draco glared and held up the ruined implement. “Didn’t I buy you teething toys for this exact reason?” he demanded. “Really, Harry. I need this!”

“I don’t have teething _toys_ , I have teething _tools_ ,” Harry protested. “And I don’t like them. They tear easy and taste awful.”

“Oh, and this is delicious?” Draco quipped dryly. “Dare I ask about my spoon and scraper?”

Harry grumbled and groused but he finally reached under the bed and retrieved his stolen goods. Draco sighed as he noted the myriad dents and scrapes from Harry’s fangs. At least the spoon had survived. The scraper wouldn’t last another day after its last round with Harry’s fangs.

“This is the third set you’ve destroyed,” Draco scolded. “Have you no self control?”

“I’m a vampire, I need to bite,” Harry argued stubbornly. “You can’t ask me not to take care of my fangs. The Healer said I need constant oral care if I want healthy fangs!”

“And that’s why I bought you teething toy... _tools,”_ Draco finished sternly. “You aren’t allowed in the kitchen anymore. Not until you learn that _these_ ,” he paused and wielded the spatula, “are not for you to chew on!”

“Fine!” Harry snapped back. “I’ll just find something else to _exercise_ my fangs!”

Draco rolled his eyes at his boyfriend’s childish strop. “You do that,” he agreed. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a pie to make.”

Harry huffed and skulked out of the room. Draco shook his head and made his way back to the kitchen. Perhaps, he could do some damage control with a few Reparos.

He had been attempting to fix the spatula for five minutes, when he remembered the pumpkin. It was still sitting on the dining table and he hadn’t even started on the purée yet!

With a groan, Draco retreated to the dining room to fetch it.

What he saw there, made him stop right in his tracks. Draco’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

“Harry?! What the hell are you...”

“Haawp!” Harry yelled, flailing wildly. He was bent over the table and his fangs were firmly lodged in the pumpkin. “I’m shtuck!”


End file.
